Journey into the unknown

Several weeks ago, Wade and I were talking about what a great year we had experienced and how blessed we had been. Our kids are healthy and doing well in school, we have enjoyed much spiritual growth at church, our families are happy and healthy, and we both felt successful in our work. Two weeks ago tomorrow, our world came to a very abrupt stop!

Wade lost his job! It came as a complete shock to the both of us. He has had a very successful year in the ag lending business. He has brought in a large number of new loans as well as servicing many existing loans. His evaluations had been excellent. We believe we know the reason but that is something in which we will not dwell. They did give him a fair severance package, in which we are thankful. So, in the past two weeks we have embarked on a new journey in our life.

Wade has a large network of friends in the banking business. He started making calls on Wednesday and was immediately offered a new job. It would, however, require us to move away from family and friends. We don't want to have to do that, at this point. Since then, he has made contact with several commercial banks in the area and those opportunities seem promising.

This is probably the most difficult bump in the road we have faced in our married life. I am also thankful for that fact. For me, the hardest part has been seeing Wade so hurt. He has been on a emotional rollercoaster at times, but strong for the most part. I have had a few bad days, but I have been trying my best to keep a good attitude for Wade and the kids. We have had much peace knowing that God is in control of this situation. Through the hurt, anger for being treated wrongly, self pity, anxiety, and fear of the unknown, we know that God's plan for us is much better than we can see at this point. I have often been convicted about my lack of faith. I want and know that God's in the middle of this, but my sinful nature takes over and I start doubting what I know for sure. Then, I compose myself and lean on Him for strength. If I hadn't had such a conviction, I probably would be a balled up mess with my head under the pillows. He promises us that He will take care of us and that we can't depend on our own understanding. More than anything, we have been forced to rely on Him for guidance. I think Wade has made this a point for me. We have to pray about each job opportunity and decide what's best and where God can use Wade in the most beneficial way.
My sister, Marlette, made a very good point to me in the days after the lost job. She said, "God waited until He knew you and Wade were spiritually ready to handle this situation and then He allowed it to happen to see how you would react." I think she is right. I think in those darkest times, I haven't reacted in a way that is pleasing to God. I don't want to harbor anger and resentment. I want to look upon the changes with hope for the future and know that God has a bird's eye view of our life.
I thank God for all the support of our family and close friends, Wade's customers, and our church family. I don't have an ending with a new job for Wade. He has two very good opportunities in the works. This does have a happy ending, however. I am looking forward to the best Christmas ever. One where we are extremely thankful for being blessed with each other, our children, great friends, and most of all for having God to supply all our needs.

Sandy C